How we got to where we are now....pregnant!

Disclaimer: This blog includes details about medical procedures and personal situations. I am completely frank in this blog because it is my journal about this extremely emotional experience.

About 2 years ago we started trying to get pregnant. In the fall of 2006 I became pregnant and miscarried at 7 weeks. What's crazy about the miscarriage is that I went in to the doctor and demanded an ultrasound because I was bleeding. The doctor showed me the heartbeat and he said, "not to worry, there is a heartbeat and spotting can be normal. All is okay!" I left the doctor's office sobbing because I knew I was not okay and that "it" was not okay. I miscarried that evening.

In February 2007 we began all sorts of tests on Ryan and I. After all tests were completed, we were told, in the summer of 2007 that we would need to do IVF to get pregnant. Yes, we could keep trying, hoping that we would get pregnant while we are still young...

Throughout the summer we did our research on clinics for IVF. In September we met with a doctor here that practices IVF out of a clinic in OKC. He is the clinic's doctor that meets the Tulsa needs. I also spoke to two other couples that I came across through friends and family that just had the IVF procedure through this same doctor. Ironic, I thought!!! I loved being able to consult with real patients.

In September both of us began meds. In October and November, I began taking shots. I can't stand shots. I can't even look at them. Thankfully Ryan is a paramedic. Funny thing, I was getting one of my shots in the wrong area (too far on the back of my thigh) and so it burned and I screamed when getting that shot!!! Luckily, the nurse showed us a better place to give the shot where it didn't make me scream.

Throughout all the medical "stimulation" process I constantly worried that I was going to ovulate prior to the egg retrieval.

November 14th came FINALLY and I had 21 eggs that they retrieved. As soon as I woke up from the surgery, they had to give me pain meds through the iv because my ovaries were giving me shooting pains. I could not lay still. Ryan said the pain meds dropped my blood pressure to something like 90/55 for a few minutes. HA

After the retrieval, Ryan and I drove to Medicine Park, Oklahoma for a mini vacation in a cabin in the mountains. It was perfect, except I was too sore to do any hiking. We enjoyed my last glass of wine at the Wichita Winery, ate at Meers where they have the largest burgers, drove to the top of Mt. Scott and watched OU lose against Texas Tech.

The first two days after the retrieval were VERY painful. I had to drink 3 cans of V8 per day to keep from over stimulating. Every follicle that they retrieved an egg, later filled up with fluid, so it was like having 21 cysts. The fluid began to creep up my abdomen and pressed against my lungs. I was so swollen that I couldn't wear any of my jeans or regular pants. I had to sleep at an incline. I cried on the evening of the second night as we left dinner because it hurt to even walk. At one point the nurse told me it may not get better, especially if I did get pregnant. I thought to myself, I can't do this for 9 months.

Luckily, over the weekend, the 6lbs of fluid and the swelling went down. I was back to my normal self and size by the time the transfer day came.

I forgot to state that throughout the weekend we awaited a daily call from the nurse. She would tell us how the embryo's are developing. Throughout the course of time, we ended up with 8 embryos. On the day of transfer, we had 2 and none to freeze.

On November 19th, a Monday, we were thankful that the doctor told us "we had some of the best quality embryo's he's ever seen." The doctors transferred a grade "B & C" ebryo. I asked him what is the difference between an A and a B. He said that it is very rare to see a grade A embryo. So, that comforted us. Because to me, B's and C's were borderline failure when thinking about report cards! The actual transfer was easy. I was not put to sleep. All that happened was they shot saline water up me (and I had to ask the doctor, "What the heck is that?" because he didn't warn me). Then they inserted a straw like tool, with the embryos in it, and dropped the kids off in the uterus! Ryan was able to be in the procedure room to watch this. It was a very weird feeling to know that potentially, my kids, were in that straw!

After the transfer, I felt completely fine. I was no longer swollen, nor did I hurt, yet I had to be on bed rest for 3 days!!!!! That was horrible. I had to lay flat on my back for 2 days and then on the third day I could shower and sit/lay reclined. Might I add that right after the procedure, they made my hospital bed incline where my head was much lower than my feet. I was basically standing on my head! I guess the rumor is true, if you want to get pregnant, stand on your head after sex. While upside down, my back became out of whack, so that made the next 3 days miserable! Sometimes I would pretend I needed to go to the bathroom (and I would force myself) just so that I could get up and stretch my back while sitting on the toilet. I was not allowed to do anything else other than go to the bathroom. But, even going to the bathroom was scary because I could not strain. They didn't want me to strain the embryo's out of me. Sheesh, all that pressure on me to NOT do this, NOT do that or it could be my fault that it didn't work.

Also, on the day of transfer, we began daily progesterone shots. These shots were different than the other shots. This one was intramuscular. Every day, at 5:30, Ryan has to give me this shot in my hip/butt.

Finally, on the third day, I was able to incline and my back was 10x better. Although, that was the same day that we were supposed to go up to St. Andrew's church and set up for Thanksgiving with the family. To adjust to my situation, we had a chair, that reclined, brought up to the church. I sat and made pumpkin fluff from my chair while everyone else walked around and drank wine.

On Thanksgiving Day I walked....all day long! Don't ever think that bed rest is a good thing and that it would be wonderful because it's not. It's like being in jail and not being able to even move positions in that jail. It drove me nuts because I would see something in the house that needed to be done, yet I didn't want to keep bugging Ryan to do things for me. So, I had to grin and bear it when my OCD/cleaning tendencies kicked in.

Throughout the holiday and weekend, I stayed busy. I set up my Christmas decorations, watched the OU game and then it was Sunday. On Sunday I became very depressed. I had tears in my eyes many times throughout the day. I kept telling myself, and Ryan, that the IVF didn't work because my boobs weren't sore and I didn't feel any different.

I knew that when I was pregnant before (which resulted in a miscarriage) I at least had sore boobs by this time! But then, I also tried to remember that my previous pregnancy was a bad one.

Finally Wednesday came and that was the big PREGNANCY TEST day. I was mortified. Friends would ask me why I just didn't take a home pregnancy test prior to, but I was honestly too scared to see the results. I didn't want to be disappointed. The blood test was at 9am. All the other girls that went through the same IVF cycle with me were there too. We all said the same thing about not feeling any different. So, when I left the clinic I felt better about things since I wasn't the only one feeling that way. I also learned that all of them became depressed on Sunday too. I think it's because we were all on the same hormone injection schedule. HA (I forgot to mention that during the first few days of taking the Progesterone shots, I had horrible night sweats. They were so bad that I would wake up and change clothes because the others were soaked in sweat!).

The clock is ticking all throughout Wednesday. I am so scared to answer the phone, yet truly anxious. Throughout the day, my phone is receiving text messages and phone calls, but I don't know anything yet. My nurse told me she would call me after 2p.

At 1:30p my boss calls a meeting. I became stressed about that because I had planned to go run errands for work so that I didn't receive the phone call while at work. I didn't want to scream or cry at work. However, the meeting lasted past 2p and my phone rang. I noted to them that I HAD to answer this call. So, I stepped outside to answer it. The nurse proceeded to ask me, "What are you doing? Where's Ryan? How are you feeling?" I became so frustrated and said, "Is it good or bad!" She told me I was pregnant!!!! A feeling of calm relief fell over me. I didn't cry or scream. I was mellow. It was going to take a while for all of that stress to fall off my shoulders. She did say that my HCG was 130, which I thought was high. So, I started thinking it could for sure be twins.

While still outside from answering the phone, I called Ryan and mom. I had to go back to my meeting. So, some how, I tried to focus on the meeting for another 30 minutes. By about 2:40p, I was able to send a mass text message to everyone and go run my work errands. While running my errands I called my brother and told him. He informed me that he started getting nervous at 1:45p and had called my mom at 2:01p to see if I knew yet! I think he was just as nervous as me.

Now that I found out I was pregnant, I could breath, but not too deep. We had another blood test on the following Monday. I didn't want to miss any more of work, so I decided to wait until lunch time on Monday to take the second pregnancy test. They were wanting my HCG numbers to have doubled every other day. At 5:10p, I had not received a call yet, so I called the nurse, left her a message. Five minutes later she called back. My HCG numbers had "sky rocketed to 1000!" I was so excited. Maybe this really does mean that it will be twins.

Now, here I am today, just waiting for more pregnancy symptoms and counting down the days until December 18th when we have an ultrasound to see if it's one or two! And I continue to have a daily progesterone shot at 5:30. But, luckily the night sweats have subsided.

Right now I get times where I feel like things are cramping or spazzing in my uterus. My chest is becoming bigger and a bit sore, but not too sore yet. I've gotten queezy a few times, but only during the night. No hurling though. Might I add that my food of choice has been nachos!